


Buried Alive

by iConfuzed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29093970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iConfuzed/pseuds/iConfuzed
Summary: I can’t live in here for another dayDarkness has kept the light concealedGrim as everHold onto faith as I dig another grave
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	Buried Alive

Bertolt didn’t even see his feet kick up the dirt as he trudged across the barren training camp, the curfew bell having recalled all the hopeful soldiers to their barracks a couple of hours prior. Not like he needed any light to know where he was going, anyway. He had made this journey so many times over these past couple of years that he knew the path like the back of his hand.

Though, every time Bertolt made this same solemn trip across the grounds, the overbearing dread he felt deep in the pits of his stomach only seemed to escalate further. At first, this sensation was unexplainable, but now, it was a bittersweet normality.

All it took was a subtle nod or change in expression from Reiner. Not even a word spoken, and yet Bertolt knew exactly what his comrade meant. It was like they could read each other’s minds. Bertolt wished this was the case some times.

The lanky boy felt his eyebrows furrow involuntarily as he replayed the memories in his mind. It was easily missable to begin with. A misplaced remark, an extra cheerful hug, purposefully taking the blame to get others out of trouble; Reiner sure was great at making himself blend in with the Eldians.

But now, Bertolt wonders if the person standing before him really is the same boy he had broken down the Walls with.

Looking up, Bertolt could see that he had already made his way to the spot where all their meetings were; behind the male outhouse. Hardly glamorous, but they couldn’t be picky.

Squeezing through the crack between the outhouse and the adjacent building, Bertolt found himself in a tiny clearing that had served as their base of operations for the past few years. 

“You’re late,” Reiner’s gruff voice immediately addressed him, the blonde’s sharp face illuminated by a sole candle on the dirt ground.

“Sorry…” Bertolt mumbled in reply, taking a seat across from his childhood friend and immediately pulling his knees into his chest and hugging his long legs.

“So, why the hell did you want us to have a meeting?” Annie’s constant monotone voice announced from the corner, only now alerting Bertolt of her presence.

Reiner crossed his tree trunk arms and stared silently into the dim flame, seemingly lost in thought for a moment before raising his eyes again.

“As you both know, graduation is coming up soon. Boy, am I grateful for that. These past few years have been absolute hell on earth. The sooner we can get the Founder and get out of here, the better,” Reiner sighed.

Hypocrite! Bertolt’s thoughts immediately attacked the Armoured, Weren’t you just playing with Connie, promising to help him steal more meat from the officer’s quarters?

“Your point is?” Annie remarked, staring icy daggers into the side of Reiner’s face.

“All of us are easily going to get into the top ten, it might as well be gospel at this point. As you both know, only people in the top ten get to apply for the Military Police,” Reiner’s words were drawn out and meticulous, his knuckles white as he gripped onto his arm. That isn’t good.

“Again, your point is?” Annie asked, as uninterested as ever.

Reiner didn’t respond right away, his intense hazel eyes burning bright with intensity, brighter than the candle in front of each of them. 

“We’re going to destroy Wall Rose.” 

A gut wrenching silence hung over the trio as Bertolt and Annie attempted to process the words that had just come out of Reiner’s mouth. A number of beads of sweat rolled down the olive skin of the former, while even the cool headed Annie seemed to be at a loss for words. They both stared wide eyed at their impromptu leader, which prompted Reiner to explain their plan.

“It’s been five years since Wall Maria fell. The Eldians seemed to have finally rebuilt and gained some sort of regularity back to their loves, so I say it’s the perfect time to strike. If we destroy Wall Rose, then the surviving members of the population will be forced behind Wall Sina. There will be a severe food shortage and overcrowding problems. The Founder will have to show themselves.”

Bertolt hugged himself even tighter than before, the collar of his shirt uncomfortably chafing the skin on his neck. His lips were glued shut, and he could feel his body temperature rising every moment. Thankfully, Annie spoke up to fill the quiet.

“When are we doing it?” The petite girl asked, as serious as ever. Bertolt was surprised that she could easily just go along with a plan that serious. It made him envious.

“Soon. I’ve heard that the Survey Corps are going to be leaving on a mission beyond the Walls, and so won’t be here to defend the public once the gate is broken. The Garrison are much too underskilled to pose any sort of problem,” Reiner said with a stone face.

“Where?” Annie queried once more, getting as many details as possible about their upcoming mission.

“Trost. We’re going to be heading there for a cannon and Wall maintenance lesson soon, so it’s the ideal opportunity. Bertolt, you can kick down the Wall, right?”

Bertolt immediately stiffened up at the mention of his name, gulping down his anxiety. Screams from a thousand corpses begged him, pleaded for him to say no. But…. he couldn’t.

He’s a warrior.

“Of course,” The tall boy answered, which was met by a stern nod by Reiner.

“We’ll discuss it more once we’re closer to the time. For now, that’s all,” The blonde finished, lifting himself off the dirt, which Annie swiftly joined him in doing. The two shifters quietly and discreetly slipped back through the crack and returned to their barracks.

However, Bertolt didn’t move an inch. He sat there in the darkness, his body shivering from the sharp cold. His thoughts were racing, his breath quickening as the world spun around him.  
Suddenly, Bertolt felt himself scurrying over to a small tuft of grass before promptly emptying his guts out. A set of shaking hands raised off the ground to the front of his face, which the nervous wreck could barely see through his crying eyes.

He was a monster. Yet, if he didn’t stain his hands with all this blood, then who would?

**Author's Note:**

> I am not very proud of this whatsoever. I have been suffering with a creativity block for a good few weeks now, and have struggled to do any writing in any from. 
> 
> However, after reading a character analysis of Bertolt by LivianLynx (great fic writer btw, check them out), I felt incredibly inspired and barely managed to write this.
> 
> I feel as if this piece doesn't represent my views on Bertolt as much as I would have liked. He is a very complex character and I have a certain set of views, which I haven't managed to express to my liking. I may try again with future pieces, because even though his thoughts are a very hard thing to show, I feel like it would make a very interesting piece of literature.
> 
> Regardless, I thank you all for reading. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated, and keep a look out for my upcoming works! :)


End file.
